New Year’s Resolution– Overachievers Start in November

I’ve been trying to figure out what’s next.  How do I appropriately and productively deal with the sadness that is still with me since losing my dad?  After mulling around a few months, I think it’s time to dust myself off and start to figure things out, and there is no better way to dust off than by spreading happiness.

First, I decided that I would do one thing kind for my family each day.  Seems easy.  Seems good.  Then, perhaps I should do one nice thing for a friend each day.  Then I wondered if I should do something nice for myself.  Now, I know that it seems selfish to include doing something kind for myself in that list, but I feel like I need to be gentle toward myself for awhile.  Since August I’ve lost my dad, ended a relationship with a long term boyfriend, moved households twice, and just generally had a lot of chaos in my life.  So, even though it makes me feel a little egotistical, I’m going to do something nice for me too.  So here I go on my next quest.  From now until the new year, I’m going to resolve to do one thing good for myself, my family and my friends each day.  Sure, I try to live like this regardless, but I know I rarely take time to breathe them in and feel solid in my actions.

So my charge to complete 3 kindnesses a day and take note of them began yesterday.  The whole day I kept questioning myself on if the kindness was big enough, meaningful enough to ‘count.’  But by the end of the day, I felt like maybe there is still some joy and meaning in my new life.

For myself, I went to paint with some of my girlfriends.  We laughed, drank some wine, ate some cupcakes, and produce… ‘art’.  I think Monet has a solid hold on his place in history; none of us are the underdog’s who might steal his glory.  But regardless, it was nice to be nice to myself.  I felt a little bad that it was so easy to find something to do that was kind, for myself.  Shouldn’t I be a martyr?  Shouldn’t it be hard to be kind to myself?  But, I let those feelings go, and enjoyed the company of my friends.

For my family, I flipped off the Genworth Insurance headquarters building as I drove by.  (Genworth gave my mother so much grief when we were trying to care for my dad.)  I told my mother about it, and we laughed and laughed.  Okay, I admit, not the classiest move, but it sure felt good.

And last on a more serious note, for my friend, I listened as she told me a heart breaking account of some abuse that she recently faced.  I spent the whole day wondering if my kindnesses towards my friends counted as ‘good’ enough.  Then, when she came to me with her story, I put all that aside and felt so grateful that she would feel safe enough with me to finally let go of carrying this huge burden alone.  She’s such a beautiful person, who should be loved and celebrated, and I hope talking with me will begin the long journey towards feeling at peace with herself again.

Today, I’m off to a good start.  The gym for me.  Cooking dinner for a friend, and I believe I’ll send a card in the mail to a family member.  I’m hoping the process of being more mindful of my actions will help pull me back around to a more centered me.  So happy pre-New Year.  I hope I can keep this resolution.


One thought on “New Year’s Resolution– Overachievers Start in November

  1. Oh, I love your thoughts and efforts of New year Resolutions. I just may try to copy you, if you don’t mind. I’ve been kind of stuck on myself too, grieving for my sister. It’s time to start thinking of others and doing something about it. Thanks, Bonnie! I needed this!

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