“You know what you’re problem is…– You don’t know how to just be. You answer every problem. In fact, you have to answer with an achievement.”
“Guess you know why I’ve been successful.” I retorted jokingly, but really wanted to glare him to death. I simmered in my annoyance.
Armed with new information about my imperfections, I set out to learn how to ‘just be’. I know! I’ll make it my new goal to learn how to meditate!
I suck at mediation. ‘1, 2, 3, (you know I once read a study that said meditation is harder for women than men because men tend to think of one thing at a time, and women are multitaskers by nature…. ugh, start over)’. 1!, 2!, 3! (this is not my talent- start over). 1!!!!!, 2!!!!, 3!!!!, Oh I give.’ I suck at mediation.
Sitting down to crochet is a new found talent of mine. I say I took up the hobby because I can’t stand sitting still. But I’m really looking to achieve my way through problems. I appreciate that it gives me something to do with my hands while I wait. The real bliss, though, comes from it being a pointy, weapon-like object to stab things (like my problems) with when I get too bored. My intent was to learn how to pass the doldrums, but it’s funny the things you can learn from your grandmother’s wisdom talents.
The first thing I learned was to take the time to count your progress. It’s not in my nature to do this as I am always looking to my next achievement, but there’s something beautiful about holding up a scarf and knowing, ‘I created that’. It helps to take stock in your progress because you find your mistakes much earlier this way. See, if you make a mistake in crochet, it carries forward to everything you do. And unattended mistake makes a mess of things.
Which leads me to my next revelation… When you make a mistake, fix it. Sooner rather than later. No matter how fancy the cover up, the mistake will just nag at you until you take the time to correct it. Sometimes that means you have to fix your own technique going forward; sometimes that means going back to fix some stitches. Trust me, it’s much more painful to rip apart a lot because you wanted to ignore the error- than to just fix an ugly stitch or two now.
And my most exciting revelation, crocheting is very meditative. I can easily pass an hour with a smile of contentment on my face and in my heart, and for once my monkey chatter brain just rests. It’s nice to just be. Who knew?